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Old 04-15-2014
M!ZZ3Z. CH0LITA M!ZZ3Z. CH0LITA is offline
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Arrow A Letter to Heaven

It' been a long while since i've posted anything let alone picked up a pen and paper...writing is a form of art to which we all can relate to.

A Letter to Heaven

Dear Grams,

I never understood why you said the things you did back then. Why you told me it was important for me to stay strong regardless of what happend. If I knew what I know now I would have listened. If I knew that one day you'd be taken away I would have not let you down and would have gone to see you more often then I did. I always wanted to make you proud beyond my accomplishments you witnessed. Here I am within reach of my graduation and I cannot thank you enough for being my inspiration. I faced my fears and made a choice to better my life than just working and not doing what I know I should have done but didnt until it was too late. You always told me I could do anything and be who I wanted to be and make a difference in peoples lives. That I could go above and beyond my will power to help those in need. To do the unthinkable and accomplish what you couldnt. I write this letter with so much love within my heart but with sadness which consumes me. I know you are watching me from heaven but it is not the same. If I could see you once more than I would be content and my life would mean that much more than what it means now. I am not saying that my life doesnt mean anything. You see I have values and morals as you know I have always had them thanks to you. I wish I could see your smile as you watch me walk across the stage accepting my associates degree diploma. I wish I could hear you say "I'm so proud of you mija, you see what did I tell you hard work pays off" I live by that saying day to day. I wish I could just walk into my moms house and go to your room and say hey gramz and you just smile and say hi back..I understand now why you said to me as a child to put my best foot forward and i'd go places bigger than I would ever imagine. I lived my dreams and accomplished many things at a young age thanks to you. I sit here thinking what I could have done to keep you but I know that it is selfish of me to think that way. I would give up my life for you in a heart beat but you said you lived your life and fought off so many demons that you were tired and needed to rest. You are and will always be a beautiful warrior. Battling breast cancer being a survivor not letting it make you weak or letting it consume your strength you kept pushing forward. What I would give to just hug you nana even its for a couple of seconds but I know that it is not possible. You left behind a family that still mourns you but yet content that you are no longer suffering. I know my tata is where you are at he always confessed how much he adored you and loved you even after he broke your heart he did say he was sorry when you left us...I want to say thank you for allowing me to see the other side of things and not just what I wanted to see and letting me hear what was being said other than what I wanted to say or hear. I am who am today because of how you and so many others touched my lives and little bit of you all live with in me. Everyday that I feel sorrow because I know you are not around I pray because I know you hear me..all of sudden the sorrow vanishes. I feel you presence in my every day life. Because of you I never strayed from my path sure I had a few bumps in the road but I quickly learned from those bumps. I wish I could have taken away all your sadness and the pain in your eyes when I last seen you. As the days approach to when I got that phone call I swear my heart becomes heavy and all I can do is cry. That time I had with you before your passing to sit there and read your bible to you where you left off is my final memory of you. You and I shared the best 23 years of life together both good and bad. I spent my 24th birthday without you and it was hard then..its even harder now that I am going to be 26 soon and I wont even get a card from you. I sit here with tears in my eyes as I type this because some way some how I know you read this ...Thank you Nana for everything you ever gave me and the love that was unconditional and never ending no matter what kind of day it was. Thank you for being my inspiration while I attending college and being able to help those in need. I love you gramz and you will forever be in my heart and prayers.*


Love Always,

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Old 04-15-2014
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SJ SJ is offline
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Default Re: A Letter to Heaven

good to see you're back
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family , love , pain , rest in paradise

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