what is worse?

[_aztec_princess_]

i agree with sweet_temperz

[Mousiie]

ugh. All of the above, all of them hurt. Honestly though it would take a lot longer for me to recover if I knew I was cheated on AND he was in love with the girl. Double blow.. but even a one night stand would be hard to bounce back from. I mean, what about love and respect for me? I can't choose. Now, if your list was like, cheat - take him back or cheat and go to the where he park his car thread.. that would be an easy one to choose.. lol

[nimexicatl]

love is a convenience/indulgence. life is what is made from opportunity. sorry folks.

[Geo]

Originally Posted by lizdlt

i understand i am younger and probably not as experienced with love so i guess i am talking from more of an idealistic or theoretical set of believes...(this is my disclaimer)

i just think though that even if you love a person sometimes you are not near them and temptation happens...it could have just been that moment of loneliness or drunkeness or whatever...and the fact that you did not resist tempation does not say anything about the type of love you feel i might say something about will power but not about love...

yup yup i agree wit that

[Dannie]

Originally Posted by nimexicatl

love is a convenience/indulgence. life is what is made from opportunity. sorry folks.

I don't agree .. because love, like faith, is a DECISION .. it's not a feeling (too many people confuse that) - nor is it something so insignificant as a convenience/indulgence - if it is, what ya have is NOT true love ..

[mariposa]

that is an intersting way to look at love...as a decision...can u explain more...how is love a decision?

[Dannie]

I'm not good with words or explaining myself, but basically, it's just frustrating to hear people say they want to break it off with their partner because although they LOVE that person, they're just not IN LOVE with them anymore .. true love is making the decision to love someone even in those times you don't "feel" it (among other things) - cuz guaranteed, you're not ALWAYS gonna "feel" it .. that "IN LOVE" feeling comes and goes - making the conscious choice to stick it out is where it's at ..

[mariposa]

so you dont believe in like love at first sight or having one person be the one?

[Dannie]

^^ Yes I very much do - I just believe that once you DO love someone, staying committed and loving that one person in every way is a choice you make - in good and in bad times, whether you're getting along today or not, if ya "feel" in love at this point .. am I making sense .. cuz I'm having a hard time explaining myself (lol)!!

My mom always told us that the grass may look greener on the other side of the fence, but that's cuz someone is over there "tending" to it .. instead of jumping the fence, decide to take care of your own grass and see if your grass doesn't come back just as green, just as grand as what's over there!!

Although I DO understand that sometimes you can love someone and it's in your best interest NOT to stay with them - maybe they hurt you or they cheat on ya .. whatever .. THEN it's understandable that you would then decide to "move on"!!

[mariposa]

your making perfect sense

just the idea of love as a decision we make...that is really really intersting...i dont know if i believe it, but i like the idea...

[Dannie]

For real, I'm a HUGE believer in whatever works for one relationship may not be useful in another - we all have to find what works for us individually and go with that .. this just happens to be what works for me, ya know?!!

But thanx for being patient lizdlt (as I've been told by many it takes an act of God - LMAO) ..

[firmebabiicallada]

someone once told me that loving someone is form of suicide and we all fall victims some point in life. but i think that sometimes love can also be found to other as a decision that they choose not to believe, like with each relationship "it was destined to be". I'm starting to believe that love is somewhat of an illusion that blinds most people into thinking different, and can leave them searching for something better and more affectionate, which can lead them to cheat.

[babygirl98]

same thing, of course being cheated on with a best friend or a loved one hurts more but, either way they cheated

[ZeroKool]

all three choices are worse!!

[*Su3nIt0s*]

like dannie said i think that there is such a thing as love but not be "in love" but hey when you love somebody nomatter if "in lover" or not your going to try your hardest to make things work because you can be back "in love" with them.....that whole thing comes and goes they might do something that makes you not be "in love" but you still love them or not?? so i think its a relationship of commitment and sticking to it..........not being "in love" with somebody does not give you the right to cheat so i think there both wrong..........why get in a relationship if your going to be messing around?? common sence if you don't want them nomore simple as telling them

[Dannie]

^^ Agreed!!

[*Su3nIt0s*]

tanx you very much......its just ive been through it alot...out of all my ex 2 have NOT cheated on me........and all becaue i would give something up........anyways i mean why cheat you know??? just tell me i'm not what you want or what ever the reason might not be BUT TELL ME don't bullshit you know?......why get in the relationship if you ain't ready or your not going to commit?

[Dannie]

I certainly understand that gurl .. it hurts to be betrayed by the one who holds you at nite, who looks you in the eye says "I LOVE YOU" (even if the relationship sucks donkey) - right before he takes off to his lovers!!

[*Su3nIt0s*]

been there done that.............all guys like that should DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!! even the girls that are like that too..........lol.............i just don't understand how they could look at you straight in the eyes say "i love you" and lieing because there off to the other one

[Dannie]

Yeah .. I get it gurl!! And I agree!! Totally!!

[*Su3nIt0s*]

Lol I Protest !!!!!burn Them All!!!! Lol

[Dannie]

LOL .. I "tried" to burn my X (after I finished burning EVERYthing he owned), but noone would help me - he was too big for me to drag into the bonfire all by myself!!

[*Su3nIt0s*]

hye girly next time call me up lol ill jump on it i might be lil n short but hey a kick here a punch there a a pinch here in there will get it done lol

[Dannie]

Huh uh .. he was "out" - I'd given him Nyquil with his vodka .. I believe that woulda been considered premeditated (cuz it would've been) - but hell, it would've been well worth it - he was a horrible father and an even worse husband!!

Okay .. I have a question for those who answered that they could forgive a one night stand before they could forgive the other unfaithful choices given .. could you honestly? Cuz let's say you forgive - if you truly forgive, this couldn't in all fairness be brought up again and again .. so what happens when your s/o wants to go out with the friends .. or whatever .. won't you wonder what he/she is doing - who they're with - if they've hooked up yet again .. if they're lying about something .. I mean ya DID forgive that first time, why not a second .. so I guess my question is, is could you still make a relationship "work" after infidelity? Honestly?

Cuz when it came down to it, I couldn't - nor did I want to even try!!

[Mousiie]

Originally Posted by just_dannie

I don't agree .. because love, like faith, is a DECISION .. it's not a feeling (too many people confuse that) - nor is it something so insignificant as a convenience/indulgence - if it is, what ya have is NOT true love ..

Exactly miss dannie. Most people are stuck in the here and now to deeply to see the true essence of love in its fullest potential. In the end confusing love with how he/she makes you feel. Its not about them, its about you! All the love you ever need you got for yourself and if you don't, I feel for you. Love is a decision in that, you decide who you are giving yourself to, what you can and can't handle, what you can/can't love, what you accept as your reality. If you can think ahead 50 years when all the tickly feeling is gone, the youth, the beauty, the sex and still love that person that is whats real. I'm not talking about romantically thinking you could, but being completely REAL and knowing you could. Since most people even lie to themselves.. hmmm, thats a tall order, to be real. But in the end, 50 years out, thats whats worth making it through to that point. Unfortunately how many people think of love outside of "good times" and romantic fantasizing.. Yep, its all good right until he/she gets sick, hurt, looses a job and goes broke.. then most "fall out of love". We got fools in love and when your pareja looses his/her flavor finding another to get you high.. Until the next... until the next.. and hence this thread..

LOL.. I can sence the blank stares at the screen and crickets in the background..