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Writer's Block A place for writers to gather, show their skills, and talk about techniques or whatever. This is to include but not limiting to editorials, poetry, stories, and biographies.

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  #1  
Old 11-14-2006
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Default Shattered Mirror

aight this is the new story. Hope you love it. Leave the love and I'll post more. Laterz



A young girl is sitting in the sand staring out at the water.

Girl: I guess Iíll start at the beginning, I was 16 years old. I had a good future going for me. Good Student and model example. You could say I was an All-American girl. Good Grades, teacherís pet, actively involved in school activities. My life was perfect untilÖÖÖ



Patricia aka Paty- 16 yrs old, long black hair, honey colored eyes, honey brown skin, nice curved out body.

*Early morning Friday*

*Beep, beep, beep*

The alarm sounds and wakes Patricia up. She shuts it off and gets up, she showers, gets dressed and takes off for school.

*Jefferson High*

Paty pulled up to the school parking lot and parks her car. She gets out of her car and starts to walk toward to the building.

Voice: hey bitch

Paty: what the hell?

Paty turned around and saw her best friend Lydia.

*Lydia aka Preciosa- 17 yrs old, long dark brown hair, light honey colored eyes, full lips, breast, and butt.*

Preciosa: gotcha

Paty: punk

Preciosa: so what happened last night?

Paty: why?

Preciosa: I called you, but all I got was your voicemail

Paty: I fell asleep, sorry girl

Preciosa: itís cool, so you have plans tomorrow?

Paty: I have a speech tournament

Preciosa: but thatís in the morning

Paty: what do you have in mind?

Preciosa: my homeboyís having a party

Paty: you know I donít like going to those parties

Preciosa: you know you have fun

Paty: sometimes, whoís the party for?

Preciosa: Pelonís brother just got out of Juvi and heís having a welcome back party for him

Paty: I donít know

Preciosa: come on, please?

Paty: wellÖ.

Preciosa: please, please, please

Paty: alright

Preciosa: yes, thank you

*Bell rings*

Paty: that better be first bell

Preciosa: it is

Paty: letís go before weíre late

*At Lunch*

Paty sat at her table and waited for Preciosa to get there. She finished her food and took out her notebook and started to write.

Guy: what are you writing?

Paty: (not looking up) nothing you need to worry about

Guy: damn why so rude?

Paty looked up and stared into the eyes of a very fine cholo.

Paty: I donít like people asking me whatís none of their business

Guy: damn Iím sorry

Paty: (looked back down) whatever

Guy: look can we start over? My name is Josue

Paty looked up at him and he smiled

Josue: so whatís your name?

Paty: itís Patricia, Paty for short

Josue: nice to meet you Paty

Paty: (smiled a little) nice to meet you too Josue

Josue smiles at her

Voice: HEY JOKER

Paty turned and saw that a very pretty girl calling out to him.

Josue: Iíll be right there

Girl: hurry up

Josue: hold up (to Paty) I gotta go

Paty went back on writing.

Paty: whatever

Josue looked at her and saw that she was annoyed again.

Josue: Iíll see you later

Paty: laterz

Josue walked away. Paty looked up and watched him walk away

Paty: all guys are the same

Paty continued to write in her notebook till the bell rang.

Paty: what the fuck Preciosa? Where are you?

Paty picked up her stuff and went to class.
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~*~Jared Jimenez~*~ 1986-2001
The Love Of My Life

~*~Jordan Jimenez~*~ 1988-2001
My Bestfriend

~*~ Lydia \"Preciosa\" Sanchez ~*~ 1988-2004
My Bestfriend, My Carnala
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  #2  
Old 11-15-2006
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Talking Re: Shattered Mirror

Thtz a good story so far props gurl. Keep writin... wat happns to ~*Preciosa*~ ?!?!?!?
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  #3  
Old 11-15-2006
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Default Re: Shattered Mirror

Keep Writing I Bet Ima Love This Story Just Like Ur Other One So Keep Up
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  #4  
Old 11-15-2006
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Default Re: Shattered Mirror

i like it. i love all your stories mayyne! lol. keep it comming. i wanna know what happens to preciosa.
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  #5  
Old 11-15-2006
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Default Re: Shattered Mirror

ja, i like diz.. keep it comin.
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  #6  
Old 11-15-2006
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Default Re: Shattered Mirror

ooooh! I like what I read so far!
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  #7  
Old 11-15-2006
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Default Re: Shattered Mirror

Thanks guys. I'll post more as soon as I get home. Laterz
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~*~Jared Jimenez~*~ 1986-2001
The Love Of My Life

~*~Jordan Jimenez~*~ 1988-2001
My Bestfriend

~*~ Lydia \"Preciosa\" Sanchez ~*~ 1988-2004
My Bestfriend, My Carnala
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  #8  
Old 11-15-2006
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Default Re: Shattered Mirror

*After School*

Paty was waiting for the bus at the bus stop, when Preciosa came up to her.

Preciosa: hey

Paty: what happened to you at lunch?

Preciosa: I got lunch detention

Paty: for what?

Preciosa: Crawford was in a bad mood and I pissed him off more, so he gave it to me

Paty: whatíd you do?

Preciosa: he says I was mouthing off, when all I did was answer his question

Paty: were you being sarcastic?

Preciosa: maybe a little

Paty: nice

Preciosa: did I miss anything?

Paty: no I sat by myself

Preciosa: oh Iím sorry

Paty: oh and I met this guy

Preciosa: really? Who is he?

Paty: his name is Josue, but I guess he goes by Joker

Preciosa: Joker? Thatís Pelonís brother, itís his party tomorrow

Paty: well I aint going now

Preciosa: why not?

Paty: heís a jerk

Preciosa: why?

Paty: he was all trying to get at me, but then his girlfriend showed up and he
walks away like whatever

Preciosa: Joker donít got a girlfriend

Paty: you sure?

Preciosa: yeah

Paty: then heís trying to be a player

Preciosa: not all guys are like Chulo

*Jorge aka Chulo- 19 yrs. Old, pelon, so fine, built, tall, big player, honey colored eyes and goatee*

Paty: I guess

Preciosa: you donít have to talk to him

Paty: Iíll go

Preciosa: good, be at my house at 6

Paty: aight

The bus arrived

Preciosa: laterz girl

Paty: bye

Paty got on the bus and went home.
__________________
~*~Jared Jimenez~*~ 1986-2001
The Love Of My Life

~*~Jordan Jimenez~*~ 1988-2001
My Bestfriend

~*~ Lydia \"Preciosa\" Sanchez ~*~ 1988-2004
My Bestfriend, My Carnala
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  #9  
Old 11-15-2006
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*At Home*

Paty came home to an empty house. She went to her room and did her homework.

*knock, knock, knock*

The door opened and a boy walked in. Paty had fallen asleep and didnít hear anything.

Boy: (softly) Paty

Paty woke up and screamed

Boy: damn Paty chill

Paty: you scared me

Boy: sorry

Paty: (hugs him) itís alright, how was your trip Laz?

*Lazaro aka Laz- 16 yrs. Old, male version of Paty, her twin brother*

Laz: it was good, I wish you wouldíve gone

*Laz had been in Miami for a speech tournament*

Paty: I know, but maybe next year. Whatíd you place?

Laz: 2nd

Paty: damn thatís good

Laz: yeah, I shouldíve gotten first, but my last judge didnít like how I
portrayed my character

Paty: that sucks

Laz: I know, but whatever. So you ready for tomorrow?

Paty: yeah, I feel good about it. You coming with us?

Laz: yeah, when we gonna be back

Paty: by 5

Laz: aight, we should go to movie afterwards or something

Paty: I would love to, but Preciosa is making me go to a party with her

Laz: whoís?

Paty: one of her homies

Laz: Jokerís welcome back party?

Paty: yeah, you know him?

Laz: heís cool

Paty: didnít seem like it

Laz: you met him?

Paty: yeah at lunch today. He was trying to hook up with me

Laz: what happened?

Paty: some girl called his name and he left

Laz: did he say bye?

Paty: yeah, but I blew him off

Laz: so whatís the problem?

Paty: heís all hitting on me when he obviously has a girlfriend

Laz: Joker donít got a girl

Paty: thatís what Preciosa said, but it didnít seem like that

Laz: pretty sure he doesnít have one

Paty: whatever, anyway you gonna go with us?

Laz: yeah

Paty: alright

Laz: letís run through your speech once

Paty: okay
__________________
~*~Jared Jimenez~*~ 1986-2001
The Love Of My Life

~*~Jordan Jimenez~*~ 1988-2001
My Bestfriend

~*~ Lydia \"Preciosa\" Sanchez ~*~ 1988-2004
My Bestfriend, My Carnala
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  #10  
Old 11-16-2006
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Default Re: Shattered Mirror

i like ur new story!! keep writing some more!!
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  #11  
Old 11-16-2006
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Default Re: Shattered Mirror

ur 2nd story is getting good... girl don't stop and keep us updated....


keep droping your lines.......
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confidence comes from experiences; who knows she can fall, pick herself up, and move on.::.





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  #12  
Old 11-16-2006
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Default Re: Shattered Mirror

i like ur story. keep posting its good.
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  #13  
Old 11-16-2006
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Default Re: Shattered Mirror

cant wait to read more. i like it bc it sounds a lil like me. i hated being a goody-two-shoes but i still am. post more as soon as you can bc this is getting good.
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Last edited by Chica_Tejana; 11-16-2006 at 11:07 AM.
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  #14  
Old 11-16-2006
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Default Re: Shattered Mirror

Ok Good Good More Ok More Post More
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  #15  
Old 11-17-2006
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Default Re: Shattered Mirror

Your story is getting good keep on posting!!!!
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  #16  
Old 11-17-2006
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*Next day*

Paty and Laz woke up early and got to the school to catch the bus.

*That night*

Paty and Laz pulled up to Preciosaís house around 6

Preciosa: hey guys

Both: hey

Preciosa: How was Miami, Laz?

Laz: it was fun, Whereís Javi?

Preciosa: in his room

Laz: cool

Laz walks away and goes into Javiís room

Preciosa: letís go to my room

Preciosa and Paty went into her room and shuts the door.

*An Hour Later*

Laz and Javi came out of his room and knocked on Preciosaís door.

*Javier aka Javi- 18 yrs. Old, pelon, green eyes and goatee*

Javi: Preciosa, you done yet? We want to go

Preciosa: just a minute

Javi: aight, hurry up

Preciosa opened the door and walked out. Preciosa was wearing dress pants, low cut top and her hair down.

Laz: whereís Paty?

Preciosa: sheís coming

Paty walked out wearing a mini skirt, dark top and her hair was up in a bun.

Javi: damn Paty, you look good

Paty: thanks Javi

Preciosa: letís go

All: aight

Preciosa and Javi went in their car and Laz and Paty in theirs.

Laz: Jokerís gonna trip when he sees you

Paty: thatís Preciosaís plan

Both laugh

*At the Party*

They all walked into the house. Javi had gone to get a drink with Laz. Preciosa and Paty were standing around talking.

Voice: (behind them) hey mija

Paty turned around and saw Joker walking towards her.

Paty: hi

Preciosa: hey Joker

Joker: sup Preciosa

They Hug

Joker: Javi here?

Preciosa: somewhere

Preciosa looks at Paty

Preciosa: you know what Iím gonna go look for him

Paty looked her at and was like no

Joker: aight

Preciosa walked away and left them alone.

Joker: you mad at me?

Paty: I have no reason to be

A girl walks up to Joker.

Girl: hey Joker

Joker: hey

Girl: is she the one you told me about?

Joker: yeah, Nancy this is Paty, Paty this is Nancy

Paty: nice to meet you

Joker: Nancy is my cousin

Paty felt stupid when he said that.

Paty: oh thatís cool

Nancy: Have you see Javi?

Joker: naw, but Preciosa went to go look for him

Nancy: aight, Iíll see you both later

Nancy walked away. Paty stood quiet.

Joker: you thought she was my girl, huh?

Paty: (looking down) yeah

Joker: I donít have a girl, but I really like one

Paty was still looking at the ground. Joker stepped forward and lifted her head up so their eyes met.

Joker: and I think she likes me too

Joker leaned forward and kissed her softly.

Voice: hey Paty

Paty pulled back and saw Laz

Paty: what?

Laz: sorry to interrupt, but we gotta go

Paty: why?

Laz: Sergio called. He wants us home

Paty: okay, Iíll be right there

Laz: okay

Laz walked away

Paty: sorry, but I have to go

Joker: he your boyfriend?

Paty: thatís my twin brother

Joker: oh, yeah I remember him telling me that

Paty: well thatís me

Joker: damn, I didnít even notice

Paty: well I gotta go

Joker: aight then

Paty was about to walk away when Joker pulled her back into his arms and kissed her.

Joker: (pulling back a little) can I get your number?

Paty: sure

Joker: Iíll call you later tonight

Paty: okay

Joker kissed her one last time and let her go. Paty walked away with a huge smile on her face.
__________________
~*~Jared Jimenez~*~ 1986-2001
The Love Of My Life

~*~Jordan Jimenez~*~ 1988-2001
My Bestfriend

~*~ Lydia \"Preciosa\" Sanchez ~*~ 1988-2004
My Bestfriend, My Carnala
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  #17  
Old 11-18-2006
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Default Re: Shattered Mirror

Do you guys like this story or not, becuz if not I'll stop posting.
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~*~Jared Jimenez~*~ 1986-2001
The Love Of My Life

~*~Jordan Jimenez~*~ 1988-2001
My Bestfriend

~*~ Lydia \"Preciosa\" Sanchez ~*~ 1988-2004
My Bestfriend, My Carnala
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  #18  
Old 11-19-2006
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Default Re: Shattered Mirror

aww how sweet. post more. i wanna read.
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  #19  
Old 11-19-2006
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*In the Car*

Laz: you Jokerís girl now?

Paty: no

Laz: you like him?

Paty: yeah

Laz: so who was he with?

Paty: his cousin

Laz: Nancy?

Paty: yeah

Laz: I didnít know she was back in town

Paty: you like her?

Laz: not really although she is fine

Paty: well she was looking for Javi

Laz: no surprise there

Paty: so do you like anybody?

Laz: yeah

Paty: who?

Laz: this girl, but I donít think she likes me

Paty: who is it?

Laz: I aint telling you

Paty: is she one my friends?

Laz: yes

Paty: is it Preciosa?

Laz: why did you guess her first?

Paty: just cuz, Is it?

Laz stayed quiet

Paty: I knew it, I knew it

Laz: how?

Paty: you never have a girlfriend when she doesnít have a boyfriend

Laz: thatís not true, beside that doesnít mean anything

Paty: what happened with Mariana?

Laz: she got boring

Paty: you guys had been together for 6 months, just as long as Preciosa and Looney

Laz: so?

Paty: you broke up with Mariana right after Preciosa dumped Looney when she found him cheating

Laz stayed quiet

Paty: I know Iím right

Laz; you better not say anything to her

Paty: (crosses fingers) I wont

Laz and Paty get home and walk in to find Sergio sitting on the couch.

Sergio: hey

Paty: (hugs him) hey

Laz: what time did you get back?

*Sergio- 19 yrs. Old, fade of black hair, green eyes, built body. Laz and Paty's older brother*

Sergio: an hour ago, where were you?

Laz: Pelonís brother got out of Juvi and he threw him a party

Sergio: oh damn sorry I called

Paty: itís okay

Sergio: howíd you do in Florida?

Laz: I got 2nd

Sergio: thatís good

Laz: yeah

Sergio: did you guys compete this morning?

Laz: yeah

Paty: we got First in Duo

Sergio: nice, howíd you do individually?

Laz: first

Paty: second

Sergio: why

Paty: not enough emotion

Sergio: harsh

Paty: I know

Sergio: you guys hungry?

Both: hell yeah

Sergio: letís go out, what do you guys want?

Both: Red Lobster

Sergio: I hate when you do that

Both: do what?

Sergio: that twin thing

Both laugh

Sergio: letís go

*Patyís cell rings*

Paty: hello

Preciosa: hey whereíd you go?

Paty: Sergioís home

Preciosa: oh ok

Paty: having fun?

Preciosa: not really

Paty: whereís Javi?

Preciosa: heís somewhere with Nancy

Paty: hold on

Paty: Preciosaís bored, can she come with us?

Sergio: sure

Paty: Preciosa?

Preciosa: yeah?

Paty: weíre going to Red Lobster, you wanna come?

Preciosa: yeah, can you pick me up?

Paty: yeah weíll be right there

Preciosa: Iíll be outside

Paty: aight

*Click*

Paty: we have to get pick her up

Sergio: letís go then

They get into Sergioís car and left. Preciosa was waiting with Lisa outside of Pelonís house when they pulled up.

Paty: hey Lisa

Lisa: hey girl

Paty: Preciosa, you ready?

Preciosa: yeah, but I canít find Javi to tell him Iím leaving

Paty: well letís find him so we can go

Preciosa and Paty looked everywhere but couldnít find Javi.

Preciosa: damn, where is he?

Paty: I donít know

Paty kept looking around and saw Joker with another girl

Preciosa: Paty?

Paty: huh?

Preciosa: what are you looking at?

Paty: nothing

Preciosa looked over and saw Joker kissing the girl

Preciosa: damn, sorry girl

Paty: itís aight itís not like we were together or nothing

Preciosa: come on, Javiíll understand

Paty: aight

Paty and Preciosa walk towards the front. Paty looked back and saw that Joker was staring at her.

Joker: (yelling) PATY!!!!!

Preciosa pulled Paty outside.

Joker: PATY WAIT

Joker tried to catch up, but they were already in the car and gone.
__________________
~*~Jared Jimenez~*~ 1986-2001
The Love Of My Life

~*~Jordan Jimenez~*~ 1988-2001
My Bestfriend

~*~ Lydia \"Preciosa\" Sanchez ~*~ 1988-2004
My Bestfriend, My Carnala
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  #20  
Old 11-20-2006
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Default Re: Shattered Mirror

ooooohhhhh girl u better not stop....u had me toda embobada, like a novela....can't wait to see wat happens next!!!!!! keep it up
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  #21  
Old 11-20-2006
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Default Re: Shattered Mirror

oooooo i wanna know his excuses now. man that musta hurt. it would just piss me off. well i wanna know what hapens next girl. post more por favor. lol. i'm with you it is like a novela. not a cheesy one either. una buenisima. lol. can't wait.
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  #22  
Old 11-20-2006
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Default Re: Shattered Mirror

*Later that night*

Preciosa stayed the night with Paty

Paty: hey letís play truth or dare

Preciosa: aight

Paty: you first

Preciosa: Truth

Paty: what are your feelings towards Laz?

Preciosa: Dare

Paty: you canít do that. You said truth, now answer

Preciosa: alright (softly) I like him

Paty: what?

Preciosa: (quietly) I like him

Paty: speak up

Preciosa: I LIKE HIM. IÖÖ.LikeÖÖÖ.HIM. I like him, okay I like him

Paty: damn calm down. Jeez

Preciosa: sorry

Paty: soÖyou like my brother?

Preciosa: yeah

Paty: good, Iíll be right back

Preciosa; where are you going?

Paty: to talk to Laz

Preciosa: no, you stay right here

Paty: come on

Preciosa: please, donít tell him

Paty: (crosses her fingers) fine I promise

Preciosa: thank you

Paty: letís go to bed.

They laid down on Patyís bed. Preciosa fell asleep fast while Paty stayed awake. She made sure that Preciosa was asleep then got up and went to Lazís room. He was watching t.v.

Paty: hey

Laz: hey

Paty: want to know a secret?

Laz: no

Paty: itís about Lydia

Laz: spill it

Paty: she likes you

Laz: how do you know that?

Paty: she told me

Laz: but how did it come up?

Paty: well I asked her

Laz: you promised it

Paty; shut up and be grateful

Laz stayed quiet

Paty: go

Laz: what?

Paty: go to her

Laz: oh okay

Paty: Iíll sleep here

Laz: what if she kicks me out?

Paty: she wonít

Laz got up and walked to the door.

Paty: hey Laz

Laz: huh?

Paty: donít have sex in my bed

Laz: we wont

Laz walked out and went into Patyís room. He laid next to Preciosa and watched as she slept peacefully. He leaned down and kissed her forehead.

Laz: Preciosa, wake up

Preciosa moved and slowly opened her eyes.

Preciosa: what are you doing here?

Laz: this

He leaned down and kissed her softly and lovingly. He pulled back and stared at her.

Laz: I love you

Preciosa: I love you

They kiss again. Laz laid with her and fell asleep with her in his arms.
__________________
~*~Jared Jimenez~*~ 1986-2001
The Love Of My Life

~*~Jordan Jimenez~*~ 1988-2001
My Bestfriend

~*~ Lydia \"Preciosa\" Sanchez ~*~ 1988-2004
My Bestfriend, My Carnala
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  #23  
Old 11-21-2006
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Chica_Tejana Chica_Tejana is offline
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Default Re: Shattered Mirror

Awww...how sweet is that... too bad that don't happen to me. man this is getting better and better with each passing day. thanks for keeping me so entertained with your story. keep posting. i wanna read more.

p.s. u should feel special bc i just gave up my chicle status to post here. naw just playing it was worth giving you props. keep it up.
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A HOPELESS ROMANTIC ALWAYS DREAMS OF LOVE BUT NEVER TRULY FINDS IT."-mlo
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  #24  
Old 11-21-2006
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esmo esmo is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2005
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Posts: 373
Default Re: Shattered Mirror

Awww... Just like in da movies. Thatz so cute! more!!!!
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Right Now I'm Having Amnesia & Deja-Vu At The Same Time... I Think I've Forgotten This Before.

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  #25  
Old 11-21-2006
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nina_bonita nina_bonita is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: FLA!!
Posts: 5,491
Default Re: Shattered Mirror

Awwwwwwwwww How Sweet But Joker Was An Ass Hole
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