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  #226  
Old 02-15-2007
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Chica_Tejana Chica_Tejana is offline
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Default Re: Shattered Mirror

like always you leave us at a good part. post more as soon as you can/want.
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  #227  
Old 02-15-2007
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Default Re: Shattered Mirror

*One week later*

*Paty and Memo’s wedding*

The church service went very beautifully and smoothly. Then it was time to party.

*At the house*

Everyone was having fun and celebrating. Drinking, dancing, everything was going great. Sergio and Laz had look outs everywhere making sure that nothing happened to ruin the party. Nothing had turned up on Chulo so they wanted to make sure Paty and Cecilia were safe.

DJ: alright, its time for the bride and groom for Guillermo and Patricia to share their first dance as husband and wife.

Memo and Paty stood in the middle of the dance and started dancing to “Meant to Be”.

Memo: I love you
Paty: I love you too. Everything is so perfect
Memo: all for you

Paty put her head on his shoulder and Memo held her tight against him.

Shorty: they’re cute
Lia: yeah they are
Pancho: dance with me?
Lia: I’d love too baby. I’ll be back Shorty
Shorty: don’t worry about it, I’m gonna check on the girls
Lia: alright

Shorty went into the house. Couples started to surround Paty and Memo.

Sergio: (to Raquel) do you want to dance?
Raquel: of course

Sergio pulled her close as they danced.

Cesar: stupid bitch
Chulo: chill man
Cesar: how can I? That fucker has my girl
Chulo: she aint worth it, come on. Let’s do this

Cesar and Chulo had gotten into the house when no one was looking. No one there recognized them. They had seen Shorty go in the house and followed her inside.

*Paty’s room*

Shorty was changing Cecilia’s diaper. She heard a noise behind her and turned around. Analisia was asleep on the bed and no one else was in the room.

*Door Shuts*

Shorty turned around quick and saw Chulo and Cesar.

Shorty: what are you doing here?
Chulo: we came to get out girls

Cesar picked up Analisia

Shorty: put her down
Cesar: she’s my daughter
Chulo: and I want mine

Chulo moved closer to Shorty. She tired to fight him back, but he was to strong. He knocked her out and put her on the bed.

Chulo: (picking up Cecilia) come to Papi. (to Cesar) get their bags

They grabbed the diaper bags and left.

*Downstairs*

Chulo and Cesar were able to get out of the house and back to their cars. Paty had decided to go up and check on Cecilia. She walked in a saw Shorty.

Paty: shorty? Oh my god

She looked around and realized that Cecilia and Analisia were gome. She ran back downstairs and found Memo with Laz and Sergio.

Paty: (crying, very scared) Guillermo…baby they’re gone
Memo: (holding her) who’s gone?
Paty: Cecilia and Analisia, they’re gone. Shorty’s passed out in my room and I can’t find the girls anywhere.
Sergio: shit

Sergio whistled the signal and the guys separated to look for the girls, but it was already to late. Cecilia and Analisia were gone.

*Boulder's edge*

Paty: that's how my life came crashing down. Losing my daughter was the most heartbreaking thing that had ever happened to me. We never stopped searching for her or Analisia, but Chulo and Cesar fell off the face of the earth. I still hope that one day I'll find her again.


The End………
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Last edited by Browneyes_823; 02-18-2007 at 10:33 AM.
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  #228  
Old 02-15-2007
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Default Re: Shattered Mirror

the end????????????????????? thats all?
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I'm tierd of hearing "i don't care" or "it dosn't matter"....b/c in the end what you "didn't care "for..really does "matter".

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  #229  
Old 02-16-2007
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Default Re: Shattered Mirror

the end??????????????


noooooooooo.. r u 4 real?
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confidence comes from experiences; who knows she can fall, pick herself up, and move on.::.





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  #230  
Old 02-16-2007
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Default Re: Shattered Mirror

What There Needs To Be A Part 2
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  #231  
Old 02-16-2007
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Default Re: Shattered Mirror

i agree wheres part 2?! lol you cant leave like that
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There is only one race & many different cultures;; The one race is ( The Human Race ];; We are 99.9% the same & only 0.01% different. So, we kill ourselves over that 0.01% difference.

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  #232  
Old 02-16-2007
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Default Re: Shattered Mirror

nooooooooo how can u leave us like dat?? damn girl datz not far! wheres part 2??
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  #233  
Old 02-16-2007
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Default Re: Shattered Mirror

... what? nah nah nah nah. that cant be the end girl!
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  #234  
Old 02-16-2007
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Default Re: Shattered Mirror

What The Fu%% That Was A Retarded Ending Aye...
I Fallowed The Whole Story For That?... Wow How Sad.
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  #235  
Old 02-17-2007
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Default Re: Shattered Mirror

I know, I know, I know...but that's how I wanted to end it. Yes, there is going to be a part two. Just be a little patient for me.
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My Bestfriend

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My Bestfriend, My Carnala
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  #236  
Old 02-17-2007
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Default Re: Shattered Mirror

see that couldn't be the end. got me worried for a bit there. lol

so whats the title of the sequel?
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  #237  
Old 02-17-2007
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Default Re: Shattered Mirror

lol gooooooooood.........well tell us when you start the second partt
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There is only one race & many different cultures;; The one race is ( The Human Race ];; We are 99.9% the same & only 0.01% different. So, we kill ourselves over that 0.01% difference.

"... I have to make the life that I do live as happy as I can & try to do the best with what I have.. You know, living the best life I can live, be as happy as I can be. But nothing is perfect for anybody.."

-Tupac A. Shakur
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  #238  
Old 02-18-2007
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Chica_Tejana Chica_Tejana is offline
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Default Re: Shattered Mirror

hey not funny. nice climatic ending but come on i want to find out what happens.
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  #239  
Old 02-18-2007
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Default Re: Shattered Mirror

I edited the ending. I didnt like how I just left so check it out. It's a small little piece but I think it's a better ending. I'm starting the other one, but I hope to have it posted by Monday.
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The Love Of My Life

~*~Jordan Jimenez~*~ 1988-2001
My Bestfriend

~*~ Lydia \"Preciosa\" Sanchez ~*~ 1988-2004
My Bestfriend, My Carnala
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  #240  
Old 02-18-2007
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Default Re: Shattered Mirror

DAYYYNG. lomg time no read.

well the story is great. :]
bt the ending does suck.
ill be waiting for the part 2.
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  #241  
Old 02-18-2007
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Default Re: Shattered Mirror

... naw i liked the other ending better! lol seems like years are goin to pass before the story picks up again (like years pass in the story...) lookin foward to the seuqel.
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  #242  
Old 02-19-2007
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Talking Re: Shattered Mirror

Cant wait for the revised ending!!!!
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  #243  
Old 02-19-2007
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Default Re: Shattered Mirror

i jus want 2 read part twooo lol pleasee tell me wen it comes out cuzz yea i cant keep up with all these things lol...alright but its a good story
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There is only one race & many different cultures;; The one race is ( The Human Race ];; We are 99.9% the same & only 0.01% different. So, we kill ourselves over that 0.01% difference.

"... I have to make the life that I do live as happy as I can & try to do the best with what I have.. You know, living the best life I can live, be as happy as I can be. But nothing is perfect for anybody.."

-Tupac A. Shakur
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  #244  
Old 02-24-2007
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Default Re: Shattered Mirror

Omg U Need To Start Ritting~!!1
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  #245  
Old 02-24-2007
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Default Re: Shattered Mirror

is there gonna be a second part?
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  #246  
Old 05-02-2007
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Default Re: Shattered Mirror

hey girl u should write a 2nd part to it this was a badazz story
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  #247  
Old 05-02-2007
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Default Re: Shattered Mirror

i love you new one. it's getting buenisima.
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  #248  
Old 09-22-2007
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Default Re: Shattered Mirror

AWWW...i LiKE iT...[[MORE PLZ!!!]]
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  #249  
Old 07-22-2014
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Default Re: Shattered Mirror

bump
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  #250  
Old 07-02-2018
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Default Re: Shattered Mirror

Good read
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