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  #26  
Old 12-30-2009
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LaDy_XtZy LaDy_XtZy is offline
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Default Re: Mom To Mom....what do i do....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Oldies Rule Forever1 View Post
I take it you've never been around a child who has never been told "no", or been taught proper manners.

Worlds Strictest Parents is calling for you to watch.


Too much babying of a child creates helps to create assholes in this world.
Maybe I didn't explain that like I should have. In the form she was explaing that mom had been "babying" her child, wasn't the exact form to describe it. She was actually just "comforting" her child when her child was crying. The manner in which the girl was comforting her child she described "Babying". Which wasn't but I agree with you.
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  #27  
Old 12-30-2009
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Default Re: Mom To Mom....what do i do....

Quote:
Originally Posted by LaDy_XtZy View Post
Sorry to hear you going through this. Not a good situation for your child though.

First-Are you with your child now that you are unemployed? Or are you still taking your child to a daycare?
The reason I ask, if your child is biting it is probably because she is around other children that bite, my son had babysitters that had only their own kids maybe he was around two-4 kids max throughout the day and he never was a biter.
You children model what they see especially what mommy and daddy do (if dad is in the picture)

I think you should take some time out with your daughter, be firm, and be responsible don't lose your temper, when things get bad as it looks like they have, agarra tu nina y salte para afuera.
NO CHILD should have to be in such a hostile environment.

Second-YOUR CHILD should come first, I understand your situation and it's like you have to suck in your pride and let things go, but I'm going to tell you this NO ONE should have to call your child a "BRAT" DAMN the bitch who calls my child that, HE'S A CHILD, NOT a grown adult. You need to sit that chick down and talk to her.

No child should ever be a bully, your child models behavior they are around. I don't want to say my child is perfect, for example my son pushed his cousin (playing around in the room) al otro no le parecio and my son pushed him onto the handlebar of a scooter, my nephew cried, i grabbed my son and i got to his eye level and told him that was not okay, and he should never touch anyone to hurt them, he needs to learn to play nice and touch softly, if you repeat and follow through your child will learn to be disciplined. I put my son on time out, and I have found out that Time-outs are more effective than a nalgada. But then there's times when I use both. Then he knows what he did was bad. ALWAYS explain before and after a discipline what the child did wrong. THEY WILL LISTEN you need to make sure you are stern and ask for eye contact they WILL LISTEN.
If you continue to allow your child to bully other kids because she is little, she will continue to do it her whole life, and it will continue until it becomes a problem and it's a little too late to correct. It's basically being like a broken record, repeating it's not okay and time outs or whatever your style of discipline is. Don't give, it works. Never discipline a child or yell at a child when they are looking up at you. Give them an eye level stance.

Some kids are just sensitive and you have to understand that too. My nephew was a huge bully with my son they are two years apart, and my son would cry for everything, but nephew would pinch the heck out of my son and leave him bruises, so everytime my nephew was around him I think he was traumatized and when he would see him my son would start to whine and cry, so maybe her child has got to the point that everytime your daughter is around, she might do something to hurt him. So it's putting a little more on your part to discipline your daughter.

No parent can "BABY" too much their child. Their being a responsible parent and caring for their child.

As far as your "school thing" I don't know your situation, but I'm 100% for education, but by your situation your means are limited. School should go on the backburner for the time being until your are able to find yourself a stable job to get you and your child into a decent home that is yours and you can provide for her. This is a decision you made when you decided to have sex and have a child. We must sacrifice some things that we might have wanted. Your child should always come first. So letting the school thing go for a bit would be a wiser decision. Their are plenty of jobs out their. Like a previous posts, as much as we would not want to work at a fast food place, if their is no other option we must give in to do what we have to, to pay our bills and support our families you do your hustle the only way you know how to, to take care of yourself and your baby!

I hope this helps! Let me know how it goes. I hope you make the right choice. Communication is the key to everything.

Good Luck!
I disagree with you on this (bold highlighted ) mimiking behavior is often the culprit however it is almot always lack of speech or self regulation issues (especially if the biter has the verbal aspect)
I agree with you on eye level, using time-out, these methods are effective however being in the moment proper monitoring...intervening can curb these behaviors before they ever occur.
Setting boundaries, limits and modeling and as you stated "Giving a child words" is considered "Best Practices"
However asking a parent to coddle a child is a great disservice to them... Simply taking a child out of an environment which they can learn from is wrong, children need to learn how to deal with stressors much as we do and by providing "teachable" moments ( Teaching a child how to deal under stress) is the best thing we can do, after all we are not always going to be with our children every minute of the day.
Education is something the poster wanted to do to better her life as well as her child, this should never be discouraged, speaking to others and advocating for her self and her child is what she needs to learn how to do.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oldies Rule Forever1 View Post
I take it you've never been around a child who has never been told "no", or been taught proper manners.

Worlds Strictest Parents is calling for you to watch.


Too much babying of a child creates helps to create assholes in this world.
Exactly..Too much coddling, never teaching a child boundaries, limits, telling them that they are okay and everything will be fine is wrong wrong wrong!
Having your child accept their part in an issue is key, i.e. Another child bites your child, your child tells you, you as a parent are faced with 2 choices...believe your child, get mad at others or ask what happened prior to the incident. Sometimes there will be children whom have mental issues that hurt without an antecedent however often times both children play a part in the incident and it is your job as a parent to find out what part your child played..
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  #28  
Old 12-30-2009
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Default Re: Mom To Mom....what do i do....

I'm pretty sure there ain't one way/method of raising kids.

I was raised a lot by television and I'm a genius.
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  #29  
Old 12-30-2009
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Default Re: Mom To Mom....what do i do....

capitalism = cannibalism.
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  #30  
Old 12-31-2009
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Default Re: Mom To Mom....what do i do....

If you as a mother do not speak up for your child who will, too young to speak for themselves

Last edited by mrart; 12-31-2009 at 07:58 AM.
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  #31  
Old 12-31-2009
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Default Re: Mom To Mom....what do i do....

Just wondering what's the update.
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  #32  
Old 01-01-2010
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Default Re: Mom To Mom....what do i do....

Quote:
Originally Posted by FreedomNow View Post
I'm pretty sure there ain't one way/method of raising kids.

I was raised a lot by television and I'm a genius.
lol..However there are guidelines which can assist a parent in how to best deal effectively with their child and situations.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tecpaocelotl View Post
Just wondering what's the update.
Agreed....waitin for update after feedback..
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  #33  
Old 01-01-2010
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Default Re: Mom To Mom....what do i do....

Take his advice. That's what his mother did
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  #34  
Old 01-01-2010
puro guanatos puro guanatos is offline
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Default Re: Mom To Mom....what do i do....

what did she do?.....shaked the money maker or kept on dreaming?
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  #35  
Old 01-01-2010
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Default Re: Mom To Mom....what do i do....

Quote:
Originally Posted by raven116 View Post
To the OP...what you described in your thread all seems to be behavior well within the normal stages of development.
Being in a situation that has 2 seperate families and 2 obvious ways of parenting , this can be difficult..however not intolerable.
You stated facts..
1. You are unemployed
2. You are paying rent and purchasing all the food..this does give you some "rights"
3. You stated that your daughter can be a bully, bites and pushes when others are doing things to her and taking things from her
4. You stated that the other child is spoiled and cries when a loud voice is heard, however takes things and exhibits the same behavior however his mother does not reprimand him the same way she does your child

My advice? A teachable moment. If you are present you are going to have to do "Behavior modification"
Example... Be present where your child is, give her the language ( My instinct states the biting is occuring due to lack of expressive language)
observe her, the situation (Shadow her) see where the problem is...i.e this other child is trying to take a toy she is using?
State to the child, "I see you want the toy" "You may mot take it from her but you can ask her if she is done" supply the words and if your daughter sais "No" state, "She is not done with it yet"
If he tries to snatch? Show your daughter how to say, "I am not done" or "I don't like that"
Empowering young children to state their needs in an effective manner several times will cut down on alot of drama. Respect, personal property and sense of self goes far, it will be hard for about 2 weeks after this? The concept is there and a effective re-direction or time out is effective.
As far as mom? I would state your concerns and how you 2 share a space and you value her friendship and how it is a team effort...

Good luck.
Agreed 100%

In my family it is usually someone bringing up these action inderectly to the other person by saying things like... "I hate it when people baby their kids and punish others when it was their kids fault." NOT GOOD, and my family usually justifies this by saying it's the right way to approach a situation without having confrontation.
Unless this is brought up with her its my guess that she wont have an epiphany and all of a sudden change her attitude towards you and your daughter, given that the situation doesent change. I would really sit down with her and as Aztec princess said...state your concerns in the form of "I ___." Because personally, I would probably blow up eventually and say something to her in a much less civil manner if she continued to do that to my child.
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  #36  
Old 01-02-2010
ShadezLoc ShadezLoc is offline
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Default Re: Mom To Mom....what do i do....

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChicaAngel23 View Post
So this is the situation...i jus lost my job..so im on unemployment type thing...and well i live with a roomate who has a son the same age as my daughter...he's like two months older...anyways i give her rent money but she's lettin me get away with not helping on the bills right....

So these are two 1 year old almost two...(him in january and mine in march)...well kids will be kids and my daughter well...she's kinda of a little bully...she bites sometimes and pushes alot...but most of the time only if someone does something to her or well sometimes when she wants a toy or something...and well her kid..he's kinda of a cry baby..he cries if my daughter even yells at him you kno...his mom babies him ALOT...im a little tougher on my daughter cuz i dont want or cant stand when she cries alot...for that reason tho she doesnt cry over little things...anyways so they fight over toys he pushes her she pushes back...if she does somethin to him he runs crying...kid stuff...but lately my roomate has been really unfair to my kid lately...if she's playin with a toy and her son wants it and they fight over it then she'll take it away...but if its the other way around and i take it away she gives it back to her son....if he hits her then she just like OOH son dont do that...but if hailey hits him or somethin then she yells at her....also she's been refurring to her as a brat, i get the whole mom being protective over her kid and all that, but now its getting to the point where she yells at her for every little thing...she touches the tv and yells DONT TOUCH THAT her son does it and oh son dont touch that please....
...i get it she's prolly stressed out that im not in a good situation and she's paying the bills...but she also needs to look at the fact that i buy ALL the food unless its take out in the house...ALL the food....and that if she's irritated with me or the situation she shouldnt be taking it out on my daughter....

Heres the thing...because im not able to pay the bills like i should be....i kinda feel like i have to be on my tippy toes becuase of that...so how do i handle this with out making her mad and having her kick us out...i really need this place and i think she knows that...ugh i need to find a job at least while im waiting for this school thing to go through...
Well im glad you came to me for advice, well cuz i give the best advice around here. Any who i think you should sell your pussy away idk work at a esquina for while or something. Good Luck!
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  #37  
Old 01-02-2010
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Default Re: Mom To Mom....what do i do....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nighter1 View Post
you should next time be nice to the father. or pick a man or keep dreaming , and stay with your friend ...
you got no leverage, self respect or boundries and let things get to a level where you cant do nothing.
first things first get a job, dance for tips anything. shake that money maker, u might be sitting on a gold mine???
Man...ouch,..just outright ugly...

Although the deconstruction of Nuclear families is most to blame for children slipping through the cracks..Single women have been raising strong male and female children point blank when the educatioin and tools are given.
I for instance was married for quite awhile and although the male counterpart was highly educated he lacked common sense, parenting skills ect. One CAN REACH THE HIGHEST POINT OF EDUCATION however lack of Kid smarts and child rearing can be their demise. It is all about tools, learning and how to effectively deal with a child that determines success..
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  #38  
Old 01-03-2010
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Default Re: Mom To Mom....what do i do....

I love queens. I treat my queens like they deserve. Peace.
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  #39  
Old 04-21-2010
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Default Re: Mom To Mom....what do i do....

moved out..got my own place...my baby girl is happier then ever..y exspectin another...jaja life changes fast................

and fuck the money maker...rather make sum jugs then sell my body...dont beleive in that i had no other option so i started sellin myself...thas jus some bitch talk right there...
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Last edited by ChicaAngel23; 04-21-2010 at 04:00 PM.
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  #40  
Old 04-22-2010
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Default Re: Mom To Mom....what do i do....

so u didn't start stripping?
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In the belly of misery convulses the fetus of rebellion - Ricardo Flores Magon
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